My thoughts are flooded right now with how God has called us to live as His children. I walk outside the volunteer house each day and poverty is shoved in my face, there is no ignoring it because children beg, you see bone thin adults digging in the trash, people living in mud and grass homes the size of most of our bathrooms. Through the constant reminder of poverty here and reading that book and the conversations with others, God is turning my heart inside out to live as Jesus did when he walked the earth. How can I justify to myself that I have a two guest rooms in my home in Oklahoma and here in one tiny mud hut lives a mother with triplets and 2 other children, not to mention that her wall crumbled into her home last week and more mud had to be packed to replace it. How is it that I get 3 full meals a day, and snacks anytime I want and most of these people are overjoyed to receive one meal a day. I"ve been so meshed into American culture and greed that I ignore the needs of others and make sure my daily needs are met. I'm again being reminded of how selfish I am, something I will never be fully rid of and distaste with all of my heart. God provides for our needs, he did not invent poverty, we did. Our greed created other's poverty, there is plenty given us to end poverty but it's such an inconceivable thought for us to give up our savings, to give away or "emergency food" as if God isn't capable of providing in emergencies. It's inconceivable to think of giving away our 20 pairs of shoes and only keep the two pair (or if I"m honest, the one pair) that we actually need. I"m learning so much about my yucky heart and my ill intentions and motives. I'm excited that God is turning my American culture ideas of Christianity upside down, because Christianity is not american culture as it is seen so often, it is exactly how Jesus lived, and it doesn't matter that culture was different back in "Bible times," that's not a valid rationale because it's not the culture, it's what we are called to do no matter what culture we live in.
Anyways, the point is that I'm unable to ignore what God is asking of me in how I live my life because it is literally thrown in my face everyday. To become friends with the poor has ripped open my sheltered heart to see how it is to truly love and give of oneself. Our good friend Daisy is living in poverty here and is in Suubi(she is pictured with the big smile on her face). She has so little to give, but she gives it all because she loves those she is around. She teaches, she spends her hard earned money to buy food for even us... even us Americans she will spend her money on, and she knows we are not poor. It blows me away to see the generosity and selflessness of these women, they live the life of Jesus so much better than I do. I'm learning so much from them. God is so great and ironic like that, he took my idea of coming to help these women and turned into, "i'm going to change your world my dear Rachel, and you will never be the same again. These women live more like me than you ever have, learn from them and take these things back to your home and live them out and glorify me." That is what I'm learning here, I want to cry I"m so humbled.
I had to post the picture of Hamina. She is the sweetest little girl living in Walukaba, I love her so much. I would take her home with me if I could.
The other picture is of some of the huts in a village where Daisy lives. A lot of Uganda looks like this and many villages are a lot more poverty stricken than even that. Daisy took us around her village and told us a lot about her life, she speaks English really well and translates for us a lot for Suubi things that we do.
5 comments:
Gracias por your thoughts and rawness of heart, Ra. There is a conflict within, no? I am eager to hear more about what Jesus has yet to teach you and teach us through you as you return and process it all. We are learning with you...con amor...
Yeah I know - such a hard thing to come to terms with - the fact that it's us and for 25 plus years we are the ones who have had things out of whack!
And to realize that it is not all our fault because we live in a insulated world where Consumerism is king - a powerful and wealthy ruler who wants nothing more than to keep us within the 'castle' walls - to keep us disconnected, isolated, and wanting 'more'- more of everything. And when we begin to question the 'king' - where things come from, how they are made, and why we 'need' more then we become treasonous - traitors to the very system we were taught to 'buy' into. And that is hard place to find yourself - trying to live in a world that is ruled by a system that makes your skin crawl and makes your soul scream at the injustice and absurdity in it all!
It's a battle - but you have entered in and your eyes have been opened. Now the journey begins and believe me we need each other -others who have had similar experiences to act as accountability and encouaragement once you return. My heart is torn - desiring to return to Uganda in order to live with ease and joy in the simple life but realizing our job is also to awaken Americans and invite them to take a journey themselves.
But just so you know - I am right there with you and can truly say "I have been there" - living in Jinja, spending time with the people you are spending time with. Your writings take me back and allow me to stay connected although I am half a world away. So thank you for your vulnerability and honesty!
I MISS YOU SO MUCH. Your words are so encouraging and make me sit back and think to myself....why am I always so stressed out about money? God is ALWAYS providing, and I am definently not in poverty like I see of the people you are working with. I wish I could be there and see what you are seeing. I miss you so much, and will be praying for your heart and for your decisions when you return back to OKC, LOVE YOU!
My dear Rach, How i am so humbled yet again by the experiences you so willingly share with us. I miss you terribly but I keep telling you that every time we write to eachother :) LOL! God is so good and is working within you in such a mighty way. I can relate to your stories because when I go to India, I've seen such similar situations and am reminded time and time again of how fortunate we all are and how the meaning of true struggling, we all do not know unless we come from a place like they do. We take the blessings of God so lightly. Thank you for sharing your pure thoughts. It makes me examine myself again as a Christian and shows me how much more closer and humbled I need to be with the Lord. Everything is a life learned lesson from the Lord. And you are a true ambassador for Him. I am so proud you...my sister in Christ. You are in our prayers and I know the Holy Spirit will guide you in every decision that you're going to take and the paths that you will be lead to. Love u
Thinking about you a lot this past week and loved catching up on your posts. God is indeed THE faithful one. I can't believe that you've already been gone a month!!! I have been confronted with my selfishness recently and it makes my skin crawl. I really do believe that God has big things in store for you and Randy. God is doing amazing things back here in the states (especially with the poor!) Can't wait to see it all unfold. Love you tons and want to give you a huge hug. -jess
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