schmorgisboard (can anyone really spell that word?)

There is one thing that’s been gnawing on me since I’ve been here (other than the fact I miss Randy like nuts), I suppose I’ll not keep it back… the good the bad and the ugly huh? So, lately I’ve felt a little taken advantage of because of the color of my skin. It’s crazy here in that respect because people assume that because you’re white, it means you have lots of money. So, when you go to the market to buy food or when you want to buy anything, you are automatically charged a higher price than if you were Ugandan because they assume you will pay more. Just today, for instance, we went to the source of the Nile and the gatekeeper told us that it would be 1000 shillings for Betty to enter and 5000 shillings for each of us white people. I was really mad actually, I felt like I was being taken advantage of and that I was forced into a stereotype I had not been a part of creating. There is so much more to that sentence than I even know. Ugandans assume that I am lazy and can't walk to town, they expect me to take a pikki or bota (bike) everywhere I go. We try to help them with their work and they laugh at us, literally. Who has come before me and shown these Ugandans that Americans cannot get down and dirty, that they cannot walk where they go, that they don't serve the poor, but instead give them money, that they are weak and lazy? Hmmm...as Dave would say, I think that says more about me than it does about them. I could expand so much more on this, but I’ll refrain.
Anyways, Betty was great because she talked sympathetically with the gatekeeper in his native language and got our prices down to 2500 each, which is half what he had originally asked us to pay.
Once we were in, however, it was beautiful and we had so much fun. There were children dancing for donations, they were really cute and so talented. There were shops all around and the view was amazing.
Yesterday was a good experience because we were able to help Clair, one of the women of Suubi, do her daily chores so she could sleep. Clair works all through the night at an orphanage and then cooks, cleans, and rolls beads all during the day. She has no time to sleep so she goes without sleeping for many days. So, yesterday we helped her get all of her stuff done before noon so she could sleep the rest of the day until she had to go to work. She was so shocked and appreciative and we all had so much fun working beside her and her children.
Then, later that day we did an art project with some of the Suubi women’s children. There were 17 altogether and they all showed up at the Suubi building in Daneeda where we had canvas’ for them, paint and brushes. We mixed the colors for them and they went to town painting their homes, their favorite places in Africa, and whatever else they wanted. We were all super impressed with their skills, I was put to shame that’s for sure.
A few days ago Court and I went to a town close by to visit a woman named Sylvia. Her husband died a year ago and he was good friends with Patrick, our night guard, which is how we found out about Sylvia. She is living with her mother, two sisters and her two children in a one room house. For money, she simply makes more food than needed for her and the 5 others and sells it to her neighbors. This is her only source of income, so she has a hard time getting food, much less anything else. Both of her kids are not in school because she cannot afford that either. We visited her because our hearts broke for her and we wanted to see how we could help. Patrick told us of her need and said if we had money, he would rather it go to her than to him, even though he struggles as well (the poor help the poor very well over here). We found out it’s only $36 for both of her kids to attend school for one term, so that should be an easy fix. However, her hardships were written all over her face, her entire demeanor was solemn and she seemed really depressed. Most Ugandans have endured more than any of us dare to imagine, yet they still greet you with a smile and exude boundless joy. With Sylvia, however, you could tell her joy had been suffocated by her trials. Court and I had never met a Ugandan so sad and visibly broken. We had actually just been talking about how people here are never depressed and then we met Sylvia. I pray that she finds joy again and that God fills her up with hope. It’s hard to see her live like she does knowing I will go home to sleep in nice room in a house with a kitchen and a living room and electricity and food in the cupboards. My heart wants to help everyone but I’m not capable of that so I’m trying to help the few, help them well and love them as much as possible (a little advice I got from the book I just read, Irresistible Revolution, words from Mother Teresa I believe).
Last night I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking about how I could change my life once I return to the States and how incredibly hard it’s going to be because I’ll be going back to the American culture and everyone there who are used to living the American culture. Not to knock on the American culture, but I truly feel that growing up there, I was blinded from a lot of reality that Jesus wishes us Americans would grasp. My heart believes I’m capable of living how Jesus has been teaching me to live here, but I doubt myself, I fear myself actually. I am fearful that I will get back and continue back in my normal routine. I hate that this is even a possibility for me, I need to be reminded of what God is doing in my heart here, even after I return. Okay, I’m going to stop blogging about returning to America because I still have quite a bit of time here and I want to soak it up. God is good and He has always been so faithful. I am trying to trust that what He is doing in my heart, He is trusting me with, hmmm…. He is changing my heart and trusting me that I obey and follow Him in those changes. Honoring and yet very scary!