Sweet Sorrow

It’s raining here today. It’s been raining since I woke up this morning and I cannot help but make the parallel to the condition of my spirit. I cannot help but think this rainy day is for me, it’s my tears for leaving this country, and it’s my sadness for saying goodbye. But rain is beautiful, it’s refreshing, it’s nourishing to the soil, and at some point, it stops. So, today I’m crying, but I know it’s good, that the soil of my heart is being nourished and refreshed, and soon sunshine will come and wipe away the rain. So, I’m going to cry for now and look forward to the sun because God knows I need it or I’ll lose myself in sadness.
This was my last week here, I leave tomorrow to go back to America, land of the free, land of riches and opportunity, and land of hope, as many Ugandans would say. I’ve spent my last week spending as much time as possible with the women of Suubi. Today, my last day, I will visit about 3 more women, I love spending time with them!!! In these moments, I’m fueling what my heart was made for and truly humbled that God has allowed my life to proceed in such a way as to be here in Africa with these people, serving in the name of God and loving every second of it!!!!
Yesterday was my last Suubi Sunday (the actual day of buying necklaces from the women) and I was able to give a kilo of beans to each woman, with the help of Mom and sister Kelly!!!! They were so excited, they said one kilo can feed their whole family and sometimes they can have it for two meals.
The women were so sweet and thoughtful, Daisy got up and said they all had a gift for me and, as you can see, I’m wearing it in the first picture. When I had visited Molly, she told me she had a sister just my size that she needed to make an outfit for so would I mind if she took my measurements? So, of course I let her, she’s so sneaky. I think she did a pretty good job on the outfit. This is what the women wear here with head wraps and all. So, once I received it, they insisted I put it on and obviously I did, then they came up one by one and said there goodbyes and gave me jewelry they had made. Then, a couple women got up to say some public goodbyes and I had been fine this whole time until Santa got up, then I started crying. Here in Uganda, crying is not seen like it is in America. When they saw me cry, they kept saying, “Rachel don’t cry, don’t cry.” But Gertrude got up and said “feel free to cry, we know you cry because you have such a relationship with us that it is really hard to leave us behind and so in this case, it is okay to cry.” I think she more so said this to explain to all the others why I was crying. Then shortly after that, they all started singing and dancing (probably just so I would stop crying). It was so fun to see them dancing and singing farewell and, of course, I had to join in!
It was really hard saying goodbye to them, I am with at least one of them everyday and have been for the past 3 months and saying goodbye is not like, “goodbye, I will call you when I get home and next time you can come stay at my place,” or “I’ll be back really soon, call me next week.” Saying goodbye here is more like “goodbye, I won’t see you until God finds a way for both my husband and I to get here, and I probably won’t have great communication with you because of distance and expense.” So goodbyes are much harder than they are if you were saying goodbye to grandma who lives 4 states over from you.
I will miss Jinja, all of Uganda and all of the people more than my heart even knows right now. This country and these people have been a huge part of my life and learning, even for just the 3 months I was here. What an amazing time this has been for me, the things I’ve experienced here are not available to most people. I’m forever grateful to God for these last 3 months that have forever changed my heart and my life. The things I’ve learned here are more valuable than gold, more precious than silver. I’m a different person having lived here and I never want to be the same again.
“OH LORD, YOU ARE MY GOD; I WILL EXALT YOU AND PRAISE YOUR NAME, FOR IN PERFECT FAITHFULNESS, YOU HAVE DONE MARVELOUS THINGS, THINGS PLANNED LONG AGO.” *Isa.25:1