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Rachel
Monday, May 21, 2018
Friday, February 1, 2013
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Monday, June 2, 2008
Sweet Sorrow
It’s raining here today. It’s been raining since I woke up this morning and I cannot help but make the parallel to the condition of my spirit. I cannot help but think this rainy day is for me, it’s my tears for leaving this country, and it’s my sadness for saying goodbye. But rain is beautiful, it’s refreshing, it’s nourishing to the soil, and at some point, it stops. So, today I’m crying, but I know it’s good, that the soil of my heart is being nourished and refreshed, and soon sunshine will come and wipe away the rain. So, I’m going to cry for now and look forward to the sun because God knows I need it or I’ll lose myself in sadness.
This was my last week here, I leave tomorrow to go back to America, land of the free, land of riches and opportunity, and land of hope, as many Ugandans would say. I’ve spent my last week spending as much time as possible with the women of Suubi. Today, my last day, I will visit about 3 more women, I love spending time with them!!! In these moments, I’m fueling what my heart was made for and truly humbled that God has allowed my life to proceed in such a way as to be here in Africa with these people, serving in the name of God and loving every second of it!!!!
Yesterday was my last Suubi Sunday (the actual day of buying necklaces from the women) and I was able to give a kilo of beans to each woman, with the help of Mom and sister Kelly!!!! They were so excited, they said one kilo can feed their whole family and sometimes they can have it for two meals.
The women were so sweet and thoughtful, Daisy got up and said they all had a gift for me and, as you can see, I’m wearing it in the first picture. When I had visited Molly, she told me she had a sister just my size that she needed to make an outfit for so would I mind if she took my measurements? So, of course I let her, she’s so sneaky. I think she did a pretty good job on the outfit. This is what the women wear here with head wraps and all. So, once I received it, they insisted I put it on and obviously I did, then they came up one by one and said there goodbyes and gave me jewelry they had made. Then, a couple women got up to say some public goodbyes and I had been fine this whole time until Santa got up, then I started crying. Here in Uganda, crying is not seen like it is in America. When they saw me cry, they kept saying, “Rachel don’t cry, don’t cry.” But Gertrude got up and said “feel free to cry, we know you cry because you have such a relationship with us that it is really hard to leave us behind and so in this case, it is okay to cry.” I think she more so said this to explain to all the others why I was crying. Then shortly after that, they all started singing and dancing (probably just so I would stop crying). It was so fun to see them dancing and singing farewell and, of course, I had to join in!
It was really hard saying goodbye to them, I am with at least one of them everyday and have been for the past 3 months and saying goodbye is not like, “goodbye, I will call you when I get home and next time you can come stay at my place,” or “I’ll be back really soon, call me next week.” Saying goodbye here is more like “goodbye, I won’t see you until God finds a way for both my husband and I to get here, and I probably won’t have great communication with you because of distance and expense.” So goodbyes are much harder than they are if you were saying goodbye to grandma who lives 4 states over from you.
I will miss Jinja, all of Uganda and all of the people more than my heart even knows right now. This country and these people have been a huge part of my life and learning, even for just the 3 months I was here. What an amazing time this has been for me, the things I’ve experienced here are not available to most people. I’m forever grateful to God for these last 3 months that have forever changed my heart and my life. The things I’ve learned here are more valuable than gold, more precious than silver. I’m a different person having lived here and I never want to be the same again.
“OH LORD, YOU ARE MY GOD; I WILL EXALT YOU AND PRAISE YOUR NAME, FOR IN PERFECT FAITHFULNESS, YOU HAVE DONE MARVELOUS THINGS, THINGS PLANNED LONG AGO.” *Isa.25:1
Monday, May 26, 2008
Blood, Sweat and Tears
What an eventful African week this has been for me. I went to Freda’s garden to help her dig on Wednesday. It was very hard work, they take hoes out to their farmland where they grow corn, sweet potatoes, kasava, beans, and sugar cane, and more. As Freda, her daughter Trinity, and I walked with our tools to the garden, there were many people who had to laugh at me because I was the first white person they’d seen heading out to the garden to dig. Almost everyone we passed had to laugh and make a comment about it. So then basically once at the garden, we just used the hoes to dig up grass and weeds that had grown around the produce. Freda was so sweet because I was having the hardest time distinguishing the weeds from the produce and I’m sure I dug up a lot of her good plants thinking they were weeds. We did not dig for the full 4-5 hours they normally dig because Freda’s daughter had malaria and she needed to get her medication. It was good for me because after an hour and a half my back was really feeling it….these African women are so strong.
After digging, I found out one of our friends, Morgan, had gone into labor. So, I rushed over to the hospital to meet one of my roommates, Renee because she was already there. Within two hours I had seen a full birth from start to finish. Unfortunately, it was a pretty gruesome birth because there was a lot of cutting, blood, crying and horrible smells and even more things I will spare from this blog. No pain medication, no epidurals or anything like that here, so poor Morgan was and is in a lot of pain. I apparently cannot handle blood and birthing very well because I was blacking out and having to sit down the entire time. I would’ve hit the floor hard if Renee hadn’t been there to help me as I started getting dizzy. I had really been hoping that I’d be able to see a baby born here, so I’m thankful for that, but I definitely think it will be the first and last one for my lifetime.
So, the rest of the week has been trying to fit in as many visits to the Suubi women as possible. I’m hoping to see all of them before I leave, but that may not be very realistic. Renee and I have been trying to see about 5 or 6 ladies a day, it’s been really fun so far, I’m so in love with all of them, they each have such great personalities and all so different from the next.
Finally, yesterday we went to the hospital to hand out some food to the pregnancy ward and the accident ward, it’s always a little hard for me to do this mainly because I’m always wishing I could do more than just give them a snack. That’s been a big struggle here all around actually, just wishing you could help everyone and help everyone more than you are capable. I’m thankful for the experiences God has given me here, I’m learning everyday and seeing new things all the time. I can’t wait for tomorrow!!!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Cultural Time
I ate lunch with my friends Diana and Rita this week. They own a craft shop here and are doing pretty well compared to most people here. These are the women that I was told to seek out by my friend Sam at Church back in Oklahoma. They are really so much fun to converse with and are very personable. Every time I see them we end up dancing for someone that comes in the shop. They taught me like 2 moves and say I can dance like a Ugandan now, but I’m really not good at all. Anyways, it wound up being a whole afternoon with them because eating is a long, relaxed ordeal with Ugandans, which I love. If I were to go to a friend’s workplace in America for lunch, it would be 30 min. at a drive-thru and then we’d have to go our separate ways. I’m getting pretty used to taking my time doing everything here, it was really hard at first because in America I am/was very scheduled, on time, and always in a hurry. When I got here, it felt very weird taking hours to do things that in America would only a short time. I’m enjoying taking my time now and am anticipating a little frustration going back to the fast-paced American culture.
Something that I’ve wondered about frequently here is whether or not people here take time to reflect, process, and deal with life but I’m beginning to think that maybe they do all of those things the moment they occur. Perhaps they process at the time something happens, maybe they deal with life when it comes, and maybe reflection is less common because they are so present in the moment. I have noticed here that when people die, they deal with it right then and there. They wail and mourn and scream all day long when there’s a death and they take a few weeks off to mourn with others, do a burial and be with family. I’ve also noticed that when I ask people about things like death or severe struggles, they are somewhat detached from emotion. Maybe this is because they are numb to the situation, or maybe it’s because they deal with the struggle/death when it happens, they mourn so fully, deeply and completely that they are soon able to talk about without falling to pieces. So, is this maybe why I rarely see people depressed here, is this maybe why joy is the main word to describe Ugandan people? I’m not sure at all actually, I’m processing and thinking through words, but perhaps how they deal with pain and suffering is to be noted and learned. So many Americans are depressed and going through counseling for problems they haven’t dealt with since childhood or a very long time, rarely do we take time to reflect and process. Would the word for our culture be joy if we were to learn from cultures such as these? I’m not saying Uganda has it all figured out or that they deal with things in the healthiest of ways, because this is all speculation here, but I definitely thing we have a lot to learn from them and we definitely do not have it figured out. It’s ironic because early on in my trip I felt sad that they could talk about their struggles with no emotion, and maybe they are indeed numb to them, but I also don’t want to assume this because perhaps they are unemotional because death and struggling are a part of life and they deal with that and realize God is always good. Would joy emanate and would we find ways to live life to the fullest despite the crap that’s shoveled our way if we could learn from that idea? Something to “reflect” on perhaps.
All that said, it’s been really fun seeing the progression every week at Mesese, the village we go to on Fridays to pass out food and juice. A couple volunteers from an orphanage here started up this now tradition on Fridays and I’ve always enjoyed tagging along to help them out and to see all the children in Mesese. When I first started going to help, it was one of the first few times they had gone and it was near….no complete chaos. The children would fall over each other trying to get to the front of the line, they would push and shove, they would get in fights, and someone would always end up crying. Now it’s been about 3 months of consistently showing up on Fridays to pass out food and juice and they have come along way. The picture here shows how nicely they are lining up now, which is a miracle in and of itself. We have some adults that help control the children now, the kids even got quiet enough for us to pray before they were served their lunch. Last week, we had no fights and no one pushing each other over to get to the front of the line. I think everyone has realized that we bring enough food for everyone each week and they will soon get it if they wait in line, whereas in the beginning it was like survival of the fittest and no one would cooperate. When we showed up last week, the children were already in two lines (one for bigger kids and one for smaller kids), it was so neat to see how far they had come from the pushing and shoving chaos of 3 months ago to the nice and respectful orderliness of this week. It’s made it a lot more enjoyable and for the kids and us.
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